Saturday, January 5, 2013

Masih ada harapan ? No more , MAYBE .

Lisz here was wishing all of you A very Happy New Year 2013 and goodbye for 2012 !

Tahun baru yang tiada makna mungkin bagi Lisz . Diraikan dengan penuh perasaan sedih , menangis dan penuh dengan kekecewaan . Hah ! Pada yang suka aku sedih tuh , kau happy gilaa kan ? Tahniah sebab berjaya buat aku benar-benar down jatuh habes . Big clap kan ?

I am so mad at myself . I feel like I hate myself instead of hating you and I don't know if that's possible . Because I convinced myself I was over you and now I know it was all pretend . I pretended that I didn't look at you when when you didn't notice I was . I pretended not to light up when you entered a room . I pretended not to be upset when we got in a fight . I pretended I didn't look forward to seeing you everyday .  I pretended that I wasn't hurt when you broke my heart . I pretended I didn't miss you when you didn't come around . Now all these lies have showed me is that I miss you so much more than I had realized .

I know everything happens for a reason , but the reason hurts . Now it's in pieces and you're no longer around . It hurts when her walk into your life and make you happy and then you walk out and leave me hurting . Truth ...

What I am now , is what you made me , a lonely soul who is incomplete and lost without you . My heart is broken , my eyes are soakin , it's tearing me apart with words unspoken .

No one has ever understood me like the way you did . No one has ever treated me so kind and sweet like the way you did . No one has ever put in an effort to get to know me like the way you did . But no one has ever broken my heart the way you did .

Even though you never loved me like before , I always kept smiling because I didn't want people to blame you as a reason behind my tears . Too sad to miss you , too bad to lose you , to hard to forget you .

So , this is it ? No more I love you , hugs , kisses , or cuddling ? Its time for us to say goodbye ? For good ? Are you happy right ? Not even the least bit sad ? Heartbroken ? Hurt ? Did you cry the way I did every night of the day ? Stay up wondering if this is what you really wanted ? Hating yourself for letting each other go ? I guess ill never truly know . When you wake up and read this , if there's no slightest bit of hope for us , don't bother texting back or even thinking about me . Erase my number , erase the memories , erase every little thing we used to be . You have no reason to hold on , if there's no more you and me .

Last : Thank you very much my sweetheart Mushy . You done very well :( NLEY stories will never end here .


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A women with a different kinds of addiction